Autumn Days

It has to be a good day in the universe when you realise that there are lots of things that you love in the world. Anyone who knows me even a little bit will know that I am one of those sickenly happy people who is always smiling and trying to look at things in a positive way. I know, i am a disgrace to mankind (especially the British) and should just embrace the fact that the world is shit and we are all doomed. Never! For shame. You cannot quash my spirit and other such notions of the unashamedly happy. Sing ye it over the mountain tops for sooth...yes. Exactly. Thank you oh descendent of mine (he was born and died on my birthday which means we are related) William of the Shakespeares. Or was it Julie Andrews? Either way: mountains. joy. happiness. singing. 9 perfectly groomed Austrians in lederhosen.

For those of you who have just joined us, I should probably emphasise here that I am working off of a mere 3 hours of sleep. In LucyLand this might as well mean I have been up for 3 days. Hence the slight dellerium. And lederhosen.

Anywho....things that i love today are: My little sister. Who argued with me for at least an hour about the fact that Brian from Strictly Come Dancing (who she loves) was the star of Titanic. Leo DiCaprio in disguise. She simply will not back down. Leonardo DiCaprio is on BBC1 on a Saturday night pulling that woman from M People (whaaaaat have you done today to make you feeeeeeeel proud???) round on the dance floor. When I tried to insist that he is a worldwide superstar and this would just not happen she said that I was talking about Leonardo DaVinci. And if there was any chance it wasn't Leo then he must have an identical twin. This girl is stubborn. And fantastic. (Oh and her nickname for me is Cathy. I will not explain, just think about it. And cry for me.)

The fact that I realised my name lends itself to me becoming a driving instructor. In that the L in my name could be made into an big red learner L and plastered along the side of my car. These things don't just happen by coincidence people.

Messy eating. I have always been a messy eater. As big as my mouth is, food always ends up all around my plate, all around my mouth, on the floor, on my clothes, in my hair...well you get the picture. I do not understand it. However, I embrace it. Today is the day that I say yay! Food is meant to be enjoyed. So what if there are a few crumbs on your jeans, a piece of chocolate in your eyebrow, a cheestring down your clevage that you just don't remember putting there. In the words of that song in Miss Congeniality when they are drumming with uv paint, "if everybody looked the same, we'd get tired of looking at each other".

Autumn. Ok I admit it. I like faaaalll! I have always been a fierce advocate for the season of summer (and stand by it!) but have to admit that autumn can be kinda pretty. I think the reason why I fight so hard against it is that England doesn't really have a fall. If by fall you mean beautiful red, yellow and orange leaves scattering the ground as the sun peeks through the trees and a deer chats quietly to a passing squirrel in the woods. We have schlech. Derived from the German for "oh shit I have trodden in dog crap again cos the fucking leaves were hiding it. You bastard." Schlech is the combination of mud, rain and leaves and other assorted goodies that you have to traipse through whilst walking your dog through the English countryside. For a self-proclaimed happyist (the opposite of saddist obv!) this is very negative talk about the fine season of autumn, I hear you cry, I thought it was on the list of good things?? You are correct sir. My apologies. I like autumn because of...toffee apples mainly. I actually buy them in bulk from tescos and pretend that I am getting them for a children's halloween party. This is a lie. I know it. The cashier who sees me come in every year knows it. But she does not say anything. And I thank her for that.

In keeping with popular essay writing methods I was going to write about a few things that I did not like today. That is to present the counter argument for the day. But I say, to hell with convention. If I want to write a one sided account I will. Plus it's late and I need to sleep and I just wanna go to bed and be warm and sleep and be still and asleep...Until next time. Adieu.