Speaking of short blasts...

Hello and welcome to another exciting addition of Ramblers Monthly (not, as the name might suggest a rather demure yet informative post about the delights of walking in the countryside - sadly!) It has been one ENTIRE month since I last wrote this thing. That is absolutely crazy. I CANNOT believe it has been that long. What HAVE I been doing with my life? NB: expect A LOT of capitalisation in this post, I am EXTREMELY excited about writing again! This is my life over the past month in a series of short blasts. Blasts here means both bits and loud yellings. (Oh look I am Lemony Snicket!) So...writing papers about white masculinity and black men's willies (surprisingly not as many degrees of separation apart as you might think!), practising being evil genius for my panto, getting drunk with fresher lesbians, dripping miracle cures into myself, taxi-ing children to school, applying for my PGCE!!!!!!, forgeting to get my tax, playing in the snow, dropping my phone in my tea (more than once), watching friends and the US Office for hours at a time, taking photos, making cds, falling a little in love with my tutor (Sarah not Malcolm, though he is quite fantastic), watching the music (live not on the teeev), surviving on a staple diet of toast and the occasional croissant, singing singing singing, learning about lesbians in the wizard of oz, peeling the smoothest potatoes this side of the mississippi, spending more money than i am earning, playing mario kart, missing thanksgiving, wishing i was one of those cool gays who can play the guitar and has problems to sing about, eating from the tree of life...that kinda thing.

Today, however, I have some specific topics in mind. Although, let's face it digression is not beyond me. The scene is set. I am at my desk, mess behind me so I cannot see it, music playing (ani in case you were wondering - "i am beyond your peripheral vision so you may want to turn your head"), thumb in when i stop typing (ooh the soft bits!), sucking on ice and a little more than freezing cold. I paint quite a picture don't I?? I find it is very important to get in the right mood for this kind of soul baring. Drunk is preferable but if not then happy and enthusiastic is also a-ok avec moi. I am a giant dork and actually sit down at my computer pretending that I am a tortured writer with candles and darkness as I imagine great writers do. The next step would be going to write in Starbucks, but I fear my computer would not survive the journey. Also, there is a man in there who asked me if I play the bass in some band. While I said no, I feel he did not believe me and there is a teeny chance he would expect me to perform. This would not be good. And an end to the street cred (which I am here by negating by using that word!) I have built up in the 'wich! I would rather he think that maybe I am off playing awesome music in a basement somewhere. Alternatively I will just learn to play the bass. Something else to add to my life goals list.

Anyway...I digress (told you it would happen!). I have, at my tortured writers desk, a piece of paper ("have you seen my list? it's just a piece of paper with ross' name at the top") crammed full of thoughts that have come to me, that I don't want to forget and that I think I might write about one day. I also have a section on my phone for when things inspire me in the day and i have no paper (all hail the 21st century!). This currently says "sleep driving and having principles about music". I wrote it while i was driving and it is these subjects I intend to discuss today. Wow I get a C- for succinctness (and an A* for inventing new words) - it has taken me all this time to get to the ACTUAL point.

Ok so...DISCLAIMER. The events which I am about to talk about NEVER happened while i was in the care of children. So before you pick up the phone and suggest I am struck off the awesome nannies list, woah there Nelly. All will become clear. Also, I have just realised that I wrote "while i was in the care of children"! Ha. I would delete it and write "while children were in my care" but it seems were accurate this way! ... So this is probably for all those drivers out there. I apologise if I am alienating you, but really, learn to drive! It is ace! (I have also just put on my fingerless gloves to continue typing - thanks madi - it is sooo cold!) Have you ever been driving in your car and then suddenly realised that you have no recollection of the last x miles of road?? I feel like this is very easy to do when you have been driving for a long time AND drive the same roads every day - a'la moi. However, this can't be good. I did it the other day, probably thinking about this blog, and literally anything could have happened. Cut off another driver, old lady under-wheel, superman overhead. You just zone out. It is a little scary when you think about it. I should emphasise here that I am, in fact, a fabulous driver, and I can say with nearly 100% certainty that no one has died at the mercy of my car. Also, let's be honest, if my car hit you, it is so small you would probably dent it more than I dent you. I am also a country driver. Dictionary definition: we go fast round tiny roads and can squeeze past tractors if necessary. The average driver may be very scared when driving with us but we totally have it under control. You have not driven in extreme conditions unless you have come across a flood or a sheep or two in the road. I have never been in an accident (apart from when a guy hit me in the back - NOT my fault!). Children are perfectly safe with me (to re-emphasise that whole not going to the cops thing!). Besides it is EXTREMELY hard to switch off when they are in the back seat babbling on about little boy things: what gadgets you would have if you were a transformer, what super powers you would have if you were a hero like spider-pig (no lie!) and how your nanny is the coolest person in the world (a lie!). SOME people really are shitty drivers. I have now become one of those people who screams at idiot drivers from the comfortable bubble of my car. I am pretty mellow (ok so i am practically lying down!) in the rest of my life. But I turn into my alter-ego Lucifer the anti-christ when I am confronted with these people. Why must you drive so rubbishly? And don't get me started on old people...

A little note: are you allowed more than one alter-ego? Cos i think maybe Lucifer is not the best one I could have. Maybe Luce/Loose (however you want to read it!) a smouldering temptress (see Moulin Rouge!) with the confidence of Madonna and the face of Catherine Zeta Jones would be better. I kinda like the sound of that. Not sure you can change your actual face through an alter-ego though?? Do these multiply personalities constitute scizophrenia now? Have I actually lost it? Another question for another time...ha!This is a long ass (gross mental image) note. I shall move speedily to the next topic. Like a cheetah on speed, a horse at the races, gay girls to wife-beaters, a skaterboarder to the floor, a katy perry song to the bin. Which, mwah ha ha haaaa, leads me to muuuuuusic, which in the words of Madonna (again - wow!) "makes the people, come together"! I came round to this topic whilst in my car. Oh yes people this is not just a random ramble. I have commen themes. Ish. Anyway...I was listening to the radio in my car and the pussycat dolls came on and well...i loved it! For shame. This got me to thinking though about music taste and when you should, if ever, draw the line at liking a band simply because they are uncool/manufactured/really really hot! I think maybe you know what I mean? For example, recently a blonde friend of mine who shall remain nameless, revealed that she kinda liked the new Katy Perry song Hot n' Cold. Now she was very ashamed to admit this, cos let's face it Katy Perry may ACTUALLY be the anti-christ. No I lie, she is just a girl making money by pretending to be a lesbian (which is hot for the men) while dennouncing it at the same time. If I get into why I hate her now, we will be here all night. The song is catchy. So was the other one. So is the PCD one. What I want to know, is do we simply not listen even though it makes us happy and want to dance??? I'm not sure. Anything that makes you happy is good surely, no? (within the limits of law of course) Katy Perry aside, I think music should be about that. I think it is kind of ridiculous that we would not listen to something simply because it falls beyond the realms of "real" music. Do we, as supposedly open-minded adults who do not want to be stereotyped and pidgeon-holed, really want to do the same thing? I understand that if we did not have a spectrum of good and bad music then we would have popular and unpopular and people would not be able to place themselves on such a scale. I am being a little facecious here i know. I am not saying that you have to go and listen to mainstream pop or anything. Merely that you should approach it with an open-mind and also not mock and ridicule others if they happen to like it. I myself listen to the most ecclectic mix of music in the world and as a result basically have a song for every occassion. I would highy recommend it! I should also note, that I DO think it is good to have music taste. That you have bands and genres that you particularly like. I do too. When I find such music it often makes me go all tingly with how amazing it is, it speaks to me as an individual. Now I can't say that the PussyCat Dolls have ever done that to me, but each to their own. Listen, enjoy, be merry!

Ok, finitio. Excellent! This has been a ramble of epic proportions. Apparently I need to write more often. I shall make it my aim for the next month to be a blogging...freak??? Between that and you know, GRADUATING!!!!!! I expect to be very busy in the month of December. Hurrah!Au revior fellow happyists. May your lives be full of curiosity.

The Mixed Tape

I just made two mixed tapes instead of reading for my Race and Violence class. Why? Because I am a horrible procrastinator. But also, because Mixed tapes are brilliant! They help you to say what you would want to if you could only find the words. To me they say "this is what I would be telling you if we were in a movie and I was playing guitar outside your window". A mixed tape can be the difference between a happy day or a sad day, a friend lost or a romance beginning.

And they are so much fun to make. The gift that just keeps on giving. I have recieved mixed tapes and then forgotten about them only to find months later that they were the best pieces of music I would ever hear. Mixed tapes can be meaningful and they can just be a bunch of really awesome songs. (You should make sure the reciever knows which! otherwise "i love you" songs might just be interpreted the wrong way.) The great thing about mixed tapes is that you can have so many different songs on one incredible cd. The best cds I've recieved have been full of songs I have never heard of and subsequently come to love! Once you think you have an idea of someone's music style, mixed tapes give you reign to run with it, to pick songs like it or by the same band.

To me, making a mixed tape is a long and personal process. I don't just put a bunch of random songs on a cd, I usually have a theme or at least a concept of what I want to cd to say. I recieved a cd once which had a poem hidden in the lyrics of each song. When you wrote down the 4th or 17th or 21st line of the song and then put it together with the rest, it was a message. Yours don't have to be as complicated as this! I would say though, that there are some important things to keep in mind when making your cd.

The TITLE! All good mixed tapes have a wicked awesome title. One that is going to tell the reciever exactly what they are getting. I often choose a lyric or title of one of the songs in the mix.

The FIRST SONG! Very important! The first song sets the tone for the rest of the cd. It is also what will hook the listener in. I'm sure we are all guilty of listening to the first song of an album and thinking "oh this is rubbish I won't bother listening to the rest". Not good. You want to hook them in right from the start.

The TRACKLIST! Order is everything! This is going against everything I believe (aka messiness!) but the order of songs on a mixed tape matters. If you are hiding secret messages in your mix, this is obviously even more important. I would say, always listen to the cd you are making before you burn it, to make sure the tracks fit together nicely. I also often put the same "types" of song together. For example, slower acoustic tracks together and then getting heavier as the cd progresses. Obviously, whatever you think is best, depending on if/what you are trying to say.

The FINAL SONG! Again, got to be a killer. You want the listener to be thinking, "man that was an awesome cd" by the end, not "it was ok in the middle but kinda ended crappy". I sometimes put one of my favourite songs at the end. However, you do run the risk of having it listened to less. Your call!

The COVER ART! Sure sometimes it's fine to give a cd in a plastic case of an old cd you just pulled the cover out of. But why not go all out? DEFINITELY make a tracklist and stick it somewhere inside the cover. There is nothing more annoying than not knowing what you're listening to! But you could make a front cover. Cut and stick pictures from magazines. I even made a whole booklet once. It becomes a real project, but when you're giving a mixed tape instead of a bought present then it shows you have put love, time and energy into it!

Ideas for themes: you probably have a fair idea of what you want your mixed cd to say, why your making it, who it's for, but here a few of my suggestions...

* Classics! I said earlier that mixed tapes often have new music on them, well this is true, but some of the best are filled with "memory songs". Ones that you (and the person recieving the cd) love.

* Love! Duh. There are about 10 million love songs out there. But pick the right ones. What genre? Which artist? LISTEN TO THE LYRICS. Lyrics can be soooo important. Sometimes it's beautiful music, but more often than not, the lyrics that you are hearing actually mean something. Especially, if it's a cd of love!

* New music. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

*Road trip cds! My favourite. Literally put on whatever is going to make the time pass more quickly. And that everyone can sing along to.

I recently made cds about: the future, change, missing someone, girl power, being happy, birthday, autumn...i also just finished one for my friend Christine which just has music I know she will love on it. Even if it doesn't have a specific theme, a mixed tape will let someone know you are thinking about them. The more effort you put in, the more it will show, and the more likely you are to get one back! And that's the point right? Sharing beautiful music. So go. Make. Listen. Love. Be happy!

(I also found this Colt 45 comic strip about mixed tapes. It's pretty awesome!)

Why "Across the Universe" May Be the Best Movie Ever Made...

"Is there anybody going to listen to my story,

all about the girl who came to stay.

She's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry,

still you won't regret a single day. Oh girl..."

If you haven't seen this movie, go rent it. I might even be bold enough to say, go buy it! I am that confident that you will L O V E it! Across the Universe (from here on referred to as ATU) came out around this time last year and it is still my favourite movie ever. Why should I trust you, I hear you cry? Well, I may not be an infamous movie critic but I am someone who has seen A LOT of films in my brief 22 years on this planet. I appreciate good movies. I appreciate bad ones too, but for different and quite ridiculous reasons.

Across the Universe (i lied!) is based around the songs of The Beatles. It is set between 1960s Britian and America (my favourite places) and follows the story of Jude (the first of many unashamedly obvious character names). Jude is played by the formerly unknown Jim Sturgess. (You may now know him from films such as 21) Other than apparently looking like my dad when he was younger, you cannot fault Sturgess' performance. Even his Liverpudlian accent isn't that annoying.

Jude leaves his factory job in Liverpool and travels to Princeton in the hopes of finding his father. Although he succeeds, it is his new found friendship with student Max (Joe Anderson) that becomes most important and propels the story through Conneticut and into New York City.

In New York, Jude and Max rent a room from the amazingly gorgeous Sadie (Dana Fuchs) who is, arguably, based on Janis Joplin. Not long after the boys get to NY, they are joined by Max's little sister Lucy (oh yes they went there!) played by Evan Rachel Wood. The rest of the movie follows the love story that develops between Jude and Lucy alongside the backdrop of 1960s America.

A fairly standard premise. ATU is so much more than standard. Julie Taymor (director) incorporates 33 Beatles songs into this movie from "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" to "For The Benefit of Mr Kite". Every single song fits perfectly into the movie, and although there are some moments where you think "oooh that's a bit too perfect" e.g. the song Dear Prudence sung about one of the characters, dear Prudence (T.V. Carpio) you forget it as soon as the walls fade away and you are flying through the air with the rest of them. The song "I Want You" is subject to a particulary brilliant interpretation in which Uncle Sam wants you for his army to fight in Vietnam. I bought the soundtrack almost as soon as I got home from the movie theatre and it is still as fresh and brilliant as it was a year ago. Dana Fuchs in particular is amazing. Her rendidition of Helter Skelter, one of the best and most powerful songs in the movie. Jo-Jo (based on Jimi Hendrix) her partner, played by Martin Luther McCoy, is also astounding. There is not a bad singer amongst the bunch. Eddie Izzard, as Mr Kite, is an excellent addition and Bono, makes an appearance as Dr Robert. Also, The Beatles are amazing. Need another reason to watch? And, with the full knowledge I might be slaughtered in my sleep, SOME of the songs are better than the originals!!!The film isn't a traditional musical, however. You never wonder why the characters are stopping to sing about their lives, it just seems like a natural thing to do in Taymor's creation of the drug-addled sixties. Although some songs, such as "Because" are clearly sang in a drugged out state, there are also many that feel like a true expression of the characters feelings. A testement to the acting and directing.

The production and art direction of the film are out of this world. Literally. I challenge you to find a more ecclectic and inventive use of colour. If you didn't want to be alive in the sixties before this movie, you will afterwards.

Taymor intentionally brings the politics of the 60s to the forefront of this film, so it becomes much more than a love story. She marries the personal and political, however, as it seems so much of the success of Lucy and Jude's relationship, the survial of their friends, and the quality of their lives is based on decisions made by others. The film tackles the Vietnam War and student riots at Columbia University, amongst others.

The genius of the movie, I would argue, is the cast. All relative unknowns (Evan Rachel Wood is probably the most famous, and quickly becoming one of my favourite actresses!) each one delivers an outstanding performance. The fact that there are no big names helps the movie for a number of reasons. You are not distracted or have any pre-concieved notions of who they are. They are "ordinary" people. ATU is about your average young people caught up in the excitement of the sixties. They make you believe that you could be them. You want to be them. You want to hang out in bars listening to ground-breaking music and work for student organisations protesting against war. Hell yes! If only the noughties were so good!

This movie has everything. Singing. Love. A lesbian sub plot. Bright colours. Politics. Beautiful people. Sex. Drugs. Rock and Roll. The Beatles. I challenge you to find another movie which gives you so much. If this review is not the most comprehensive and articulate you have ever read, I apologise. It was really an excuse to re-live the magic (!) and put up pretty pictures. Besides, I get tired of writing about "the issues" now and again...Enjoy! And, WATCH THE MOVIE!

A Quick Note

This is my first blogging day! Hurrah and yipee and other such exclamations of excitement.

THIS is a quick note to assure you that whilst there is indeed a lot going on in my head, I did not have all these thoughts (see previous 3 posts) in one day! Oh no. These are posts from my facebook blog, hence how personal and unashamedly self-indulgent they are. The people reading them know me. While I hope that they continue to read my ramblings I am also very excited to begin this new blog and (hopefully) gain a new readership. I do not claim to write about anything in particular, just the inner crazies of my happiness addled brain. The rest of my blogs, I am sure, will not be as extensive, although clearly there is a lot going on up top. I guess really I will be writing about my life, film, music, politics, culture, books...

At this time however, it is late and I should be off to bed. A busy day of procrasination ahead of me. Until next time...

NB: Page reshuffle, sorry if you are getting this again.

Ladies Love Thyselves

Hello. Bonjour. Howdy. And what is up, bra???I have had the pleasure of a very busy week and as a result have failed mucho on the blogging sitch. That's the trouble with making your thoughts public, there is a whole bunch of pressure heaped onto you. To make it funny. Get it in on time. Make sure you are talking about what the kids wanna hear. Except that actually I don't care about the kids. Nice talk coming from a future teacher, I know.

Back on topic, I have actually provided a rather seamless link into the topic of the day: BODIES! (from blogging to pressure to bodies...seamless i tell you!) That's right ladies (and gentlemen) the time has come. Now I know that the world is concerned with the US election (go Obama) but I wish to talk about my own personal life changes right now. Changing the world is up there on my list of things to do, don't get me wrong. But in my lowly position as a Briton, there is not much I can do at this point. It is over to you guys!!! What I CAN do is change my own world. Pull a Barack and hold on to hope. Be the change I want to see in the world and other such cheesy nuggets of wisdom (apologies for crapping all over your cretto there Ghandi - my bad!). Cheese aside (my good god blasphemy! bring on the brie) it really is all about YOU. You cannot hope to do any good on the outside if you don't feel good on the inside...but I am getting off point. My somewhat self-indulgent rant gained momentum this week as I got nearer and nearer to getting my new super-amazing, ultra-expensive, miracle drugs! (Tomorrow!!!) I was thinking back, as I oh so love to do, laughing, cringing and crying about my life since I was about 9. This is how long I have been "sick". I put "sick" in inverted commas here because I don't actually think of myself as sick. I am happy and healthy for the most part. I don't have to stop doing things I want to do usually. Getting this new medication though, will, hopefully, mean that I won't have to add usuallies or for the most parts to the end of my sentences.

Anyway, where were we...ah yes memory lane. Lots of things have happened in my life, as I am sure they have in yours, in the past 13 years or so (my god that's a long time). As today's note is sponsered by the letter B, for bodies, this is what I'm going to focus on. Get ready for some shameless talk about my body. The weak of stomach need not read further. Ha. Here goes...I have been on and off medication since I was 9. I was a skinny gangly child as you can imagine (baby giraffes a go go) but then I hit 14 and bumper steriods meant I gained a whooooole bunch of weight. And then I came off them and skinned down. Then on and up and off and skin, up and phat. You get the picture. My weight has fluxuated for a long time now. This, I believe, is one of the reasons I have never really clung onto clothing and make up as a way of expressing my identity. My body has never been the same long enough for me to really do that. (It could also be the whole not knowing what my identity was thing but that is another question for another gay-centric day!) Whatever was going on I, like the other 95% of girls (and guys) going through their teenage years, was immensly conscious of what I looked like. That said, mine is not a sad story and although yeah it was tough, it wasn't such a big of a deal as it could have been. What is the point of this ramble then, I hear you ask? Well, dear reader, I guess it is about loving yourself. In fact the new title of this note is LOVE THYSELF. Body image is such a worry for so many people. Watching my beautiful baby sister grow up, it scares the beejeezus out of me that she is about to find herself in a world no longer concerned with how much fun you are having, but how good you look. It literally breaks my heart. What is wrong with the world??? In recent studies on body image in young girls, it has been shown that they would rather be friends with a person who was attractive and skinny than one that wasn't. The term attractive here means socially acceptable attractiveness. No individuals allowed. What is up with that logic??? Hello?? My friendship with you is not based on what you look like. It is probably based on you smiling at me one day. Or dancing with me in a crazy yet oh so endearing fashion. You are probably thinking, well Lucy maybe that is just because all your friends are attractive. Yes they bloody are! But I bet a lot of them don't think so. It is absolutely crazy to me that the happiness of a persons day can depend on their ability to look as well airbrushed as the women on the front of any random magazine. I don't ever want my sister to think that she can't go anywhere or do something because she doesn't look "right". Hell it's never held me back. Sure I'm self-conscious about things, but the best times in my life have probably been when I have put all those little "flaws" into the back of my mind and said fuck it, I am who I am and if you don't like it, too bad for you. I am an awesome person and if someone wants to judge me on how i look or behave, then I probably don't want to be friends with them anyway.

I DO understand that it is also about feeling comfortable with yourself. I just wish that people wouldn't be uncomfortable if they were a few pounds more than lindsay lohan. Fuck, i'm probably two lindsay lohans put together. At least 2 standing on top of each other. I love individuals. I really do. I went out last weekend and it was like clone clone clone clone clone. My god. In protest the individual in me broke out the drunken dance moves and probably made a fool of myself. Fool? Ha. I was having fun. Oh one of my favourite quotes: the amount of happiness in your life is directly correlated with the amount of silliness you allow into it. i know. i've done studies!!! Truth. Silliness and shamelessness. Guarantee you a good night. Warning: tangent approaching....Shamlessness! Not sure if it is really a word, but hey I'm in the business of making them up these days! I have realised that I am shameless. (That being said, would it actually be called shamelessness???) I think maybe it comes from a number of sources. Firstly, my family. Sharades is like the go to game in my family. My mum also promotes the feel the fear and do it anyway attitude. Even if the fear is fear of looking like a spanner. Secondly, I am unbelievably clumsy. I would spend my entire life apologising and hiding my red face if I did not laugh it all off. Thirdly, I have been in hospital. I have had to rely on other people for everything. You learn not to be embarassed when the entire ward including patients and their families are discussing whether you have been able to go to the bathroom or not. Oh yes. Fun city!!

In an attempt to bring the strands of this ramble together; I think that loving yourself and shamelessness often go hand in hand. Because I have been in the most inconvenient, uncomfortable, embarassing situations I am pretty much set up for life. Oh I am not saying that nothing will ever embarass and shame me again, I am not an especially lucky person (or I am very lucky depending on how you look at it), I am just ready for it. And plus I need to love myself. I am special. No one else is like me (in many ways haha). No one else is like you. Thank god ;) Like my homegirl christina says: you are beautiful in every single way. Oh she is so wise. Seriously. I wish I could make every single one of the people out there believe it. I feel like you're probably thinking sure Lucy, it's easy for you to say when you are a skinny mcskin. And a tall one at that. Firstly, being tall is not everything it's cracked up to be. It is one of the things I have come to accept and now embrace about myself. Sure I have days when I subtely crouch my legs to appear shorter, but then who doesn't??? Secondly, I WAS ILL. Is it not the craziest thing in the world to you, that when I came out of hospital after not being able to walk for a month, hardly eating, being ill etc and had lost like 2 stone, that I got compliments about how I looked. They were much appreciated of course, but it is absurd that being IMACIATED (cos that's what it was) is considered attractive. ????????? WHAT??? People please. Has the world gone mad? I'm glad people can still love me when I look like wednesday adams' chubby cousin, but I think it is clear that we all need to reconsider our outlook on attractiveness. Plus there are so many more important things going on in the world. Like toffee apples (yep still on it), pirating, messy bedrooms, upside down visors. You know the people that you wanna be friends with? The people that seem like they don't care. They're not worrying about how they look or if they're doing something wrong. They're just doing it. I just gravitate towards these people. They look like they're having so much fun. Having the confidence to be like these people, to be yourself, is half the battle of this life. Be confident in who you are. And if you're not quite yet. Then fake it. Soon you will even convince yourself. Pheeeew! I feel like I have just written a manifesto, but oh so less articulatly. Hey, it could be a manifesto though. Join me people. Put two fingers (or your middle finger if you are American) up to the world that says we have to be skinny and all look the same. Sign here and get your free badge and stick of gum. Oh and we could have a song. And a handshake. And maybe Kate Winslet could play me in the movie...While I sort that out you go off and love yourself. (not like that...oh hell it's late, why not!) For now, adios, bon chance, goodbye and see ya later. Yours unashamedly,Lucy Finnie xx

NB: I recently found out that there is a secret readership of this blog. You do not have to come forward and shout it loud and proud, it's ok. Just happy to know you're sharing in my insanity. This one is for you (man i'm such a rock star!) x

Autumn Days

It has to be a good day in the universe when you realise that there are lots of things that you love in the world. Anyone who knows me even a little bit will know that I am one of those sickenly happy people who is always smiling and trying to look at things in a positive way. I know, i am a disgrace to mankind (especially the British) and should just embrace the fact that the world is shit and we are all doomed. Never! For shame. You cannot quash my spirit and other such notions of the unashamedly happy. Sing ye it over the mountain tops for sooth...yes. Exactly. Thank you oh descendent of mine (he was born and died on my birthday which means we are related) William of the Shakespeares. Or was it Julie Andrews? Either way: mountains. joy. happiness. singing. 9 perfectly groomed Austrians in lederhosen.

For those of you who have just joined us, I should probably emphasise here that I am working off of a mere 3 hours of sleep. In LucyLand this might as well mean I have been up for 3 days. Hence the slight dellerium. And lederhosen.

Anywho....things that i love today are: My little sister. Who argued with me for at least an hour about the fact that Brian from Strictly Come Dancing (who she loves) was the star of Titanic. Leo DiCaprio in disguise. She simply will not back down. Leonardo DiCaprio is on BBC1 on a Saturday night pulling that woman from M People (whaaaaat have you done today to make you feeeeeeeel proud???) round on the dance floor. When I tried to insist that he is a worldwide superstar and this would just not happen she said that I was talking about Leonardo DaVinci. And if there was any chance it wasn't Leo then he must have an identical twin. This girl is stubborn. And fantastic. (Oh and her nickname for me is Cathy. I will not explain, just think about it. And cry for me.)

The fact that I realised my name lends itself to me becoming a driving instructor. In that the L in my name could be made into an big red learner L and plastered along the side of my car. These things don't just happen by coincidence people.

Messy eating. I have always been a messy eater. As big as my mouth is, food always ends up all around my plate, all around my mouth, on the floor, on my clothes, in my hair...well you get the picture. I do not understand it. However, I embrace it. Today is the day that I say yay! Food is meant to be enjoyed. So what if there are a few crumbs on your jeans, a piece of chocolate in your eyebrow, a cheestring down your clevage that you just don't remember putting there. In the words of that song in Miss Congeniality when they are drumming with uv paint, "if everybody looked the same, we'd get tired of looking at each other".

Autumn. Ok I admit it. I like faaaalll! I have always been a fierce advocate for the season of summer (and stand by it!) but have to admit that autumn can be kinda pretty. I think the reason why I fight so hard against it is that England doesn't really have a fall. If by fall you mean beautiful red, yellow and orange leaves scattering the ground as the sun peeks through the trees and a deer chats quietly to a passing squirrel in the woods. We have schlech. Derived from the German for "oh shit I have trodden in dog crap again cos the fucking leaves were hiding it. You bastard." Schlech is the combination of mud, rain and leaves and other assorted goodies that you have to traipse through whilst walking your dog through the English countryside. For a self-proclaimed happyist (the opposite of saddist obv!) this is very negative talk about the fine season of autumn, I hear you cry, I thought it was on the list of good things?? You are correct sir. My apologies. I like autumn because of...toffee apples mainly. I actually buy them in bulk from tescos and pretend that I am getting them for a children's halloween party. This is a lie. I know it. The cashier who sees me come in every year knows it. But she does not say anything. And I thank her for that.

In keeping with popular essay writing methods I was going to write about a few things that I did not like today. That is to present the counter argument for the day. But I say, to hell with convention. If I want to write a one sided account I will. Plus it's late and I need to sleep and I just wanna go to bed and be warm and sleep and be still and asleep...Until next time. Adieu.

Humble beginnings...

It seems that the entire world, that is those of us who apparently have time on our hands between watching Heroes, drinking tea and googling sarah palin on youtube, are "chronicling". When I say chronicling, I of course mean that largely self-indulgent, semi-anihalistic and yet ever so satisfying sport of blogging. Livejournal(ing). General and specific comment upon ones life and the goings on and not goings on. Criticism of the world. Opinion on so many things including the state of the economy, the state of CT (yay!) and the state of Liz Hurley's private area when static energy acts oh so cruelly against her (is no one safe?). I myself, have come round to the conclusion that maybe discussion, all be it with one's own self, is not such a bad thing. There are lots of things to discuss. I spend a rather large amount of my time by myself. In my car. In the metaphorical library of my mind. In a large Victorian house in the country (surprisingly not metaphorical!). I think lots of thoughts. Let's just say the mind wanders when you are spreading chicken feed around a muddy field, crawling on your belly under dusty beds for old bits of food and burning soup on a thousand year old aga. I know what you're thinking, and no, in fact, I am not Tess of the D' Urbervilles. Just your average, garden variety nanny. However, I digress...I am, in case the more sleep deprived of you need further convincing, writing this and what will hopefully be a few more notes, to basically get all the gunk out of my brain and open it up to universal comment. I would do this on another blogging site and not take up your precious facebooking time, only I don't know how to. Plus it's my page and there is nothing you can do to stop me. Ha.

This week I have been mostly reading...Rolling Stone, Diva and books of criticism on the Western a'la Stagecoach. Before we stereotype me into an indie, American-loving, liberal, lesbian, student (which is, let's face it what I am) let me explain myself. First, Rolling Stone. ENGLAND IS OBSSESSED WITH AMERICA RIGHT NOW. Have you noticed this?? As someone with a medium to life-altering addiction with the land of the free, I am quite ecstatic. However, my goal of the semester, to figure out how to live life in ye olde England without ben and jerry's, project runway and mozerella sticks (as we all know are America's priciple attractions) is undoubtedly, failing. America is everywhere! There have been at least 3 documentaries in the past week in which some lucky SOB has been off galavanting around the states to show us the true America. (How people get these jobs I will never know!) The presidential debates have also been everywhere and those and obviously the economy are a key part of every news program. I am glad the nation is finally coming around to my way of thinking. The United States are amazing! And soooo important. It pisses me off so much when people say they don't know anything about it. Surely to know nothing about America is to know very little about the world. You don't care who gets elected in November?? You don't care that the knock on effect for the rest of the world will be literally devestating?? This is the 21st Century. No abortion?? No stem-cell research??? No gay marriage??? It is literally like we are in the middle ages. The US is the biggest representative of the Western World. Do we want to be tarnished with the same brush as a country that (might) think like that? If you have American friends. Make them vote. I love America. I love the people of America. I believe that maybe in another life (already been or yet to come) I was supposed to have been an American. One day I want to live there and maybe get married and have babies that have the right to choose what kind of a life they want to lead. (Bloody immigrants I hear you cry!) Don't get me wrong, I believe that the US will make the right choice. And I am so excited to live for the next however many years in this world of hope and change...and erm...Rolling Stone??? Rolling Stone is just cool. I love that you can buy it in our university shop (along with Entertainment Weekly). I love that 5 page articles on Obama appear along with Fall Out Boy reviews (who incidently support Obama and have penned a song called "Welcome to the New Administration"). Russel Brand's hair takes up a 2 page spread and there is House ad which made me wet my pants a little. This is how you get people interested in life. In current events. In politics. In English comedy heroes with American accents and hot co-workers. I did my dissertation on youth voting in America (it was ok) and one of the main problems I found was that "yoooof" cannot identify with politicians. They feel the issues aren't relevant. They believe they hold no political sway. I really hope, that with the media frenzy surrounding this election and the magazines and tv shows and songs and shameless celebrity pleas to vote, that things will be different this time round. This is my dream. And if you don't have a dream? Well you're just lying aren't you??? If you're not. Get one.

In second place, DIVA magazine. (I realise I have been rambling for a while, so i'll make this short). For any of you that do not know, DIVA is pretty much the only lesbian/bisexual magazine in England. Britains equivalent of CURVE. There was a time when I would barely pluck up the courage to glance at a copy of DIVA in the one of I think 3 bookstores that sell it in the city (God forbid its distribution becomes more prolific. Then we might have more man-hating, short-haired, political women with cats. Eesh!). Anyway...I buy DIVA every now and again. Mainly to remind myself that there are actually other gay women out there. It is not the best magazine in the world. It has very little discussion of topics that I am actually interested in and sweeping generalisations about lesbians (see above). However, it is fun and I like to read it instead of doing my homework. I'm not actually sure why I added DIVA in this note. Other than I bought it this week. And I guess I have a had quite a gay week. You know, as weeks go. Oh and October 11 was National Coming Out Day. I didn't do it on fb. But hey, if you didn't know, you do now!

Last but not least (for now), the Hollywood Western. John Wayne and his not-so concealed weapon. As much as I would like to wow you with my extensive analysis of the genre (Westerns not concealed weapons) I actually know very little. I am just very excited about it. I went to the library the other day and borrowed about 19 books on the western and women in the westen and gays in the western. I'm just hoping there will be enough hours in my day to read them all. Alas I may have to put the friends re-runs on hold for a while. What I DO know is that I was very pleasantly surprised by the one and only Western (gasp) I have ever seen: Stagecoach. So if you haven't seen it. Go. See. Watch the loveless prostitute fall in love with the rebel with a heart of gold whilst they are being chased by Native Americans. Yee hah!!!

Ok, so my brain is soothed a little. I have been writing for at least an hour. Not doing anything I should but probably furthering my intelligent and emotional self in ways in which I do not yet understand. What's the word for that?? Oh, procrastination. In the immortal words of The Beatles however, there's no where you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. Wise words. Wise words.L x